Dr. Ron Sumners
July 18, 2010
A man entered a Monastery to become a monk. In addition to the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience, he took a vow of silence. He could not speak at all except on a specific day once a year when he stood before the Abbott, who allowed him two words. The first years his words were, “Bed hard.” The second years his words were, “Food bad.” After the third year, he came again to the Abbott and said, “I quit!” To which the Abbott replied, “I’m not surprised, you’ve done nothing but complain since you got here!”
Complaining is commonplace. The problem is; it is a hard habit to break. Some people are naturally negative. Others look for the bad things of life. It has been said, “Don’t complain and talk about your problems – 80% of people don’t care; the other 20% will think you deserve them!” We are surrounded by complainers. A few may live under your roof, at your job; one of them may just be you!
People gripe about everything. It’s interesting that the most indulged society is the most discontent. The more we have, the more we seem to be discontent with what we have and the more complaining we seem to do.
What do we complain about? What makes us angry, hostile or even violent; things that increase our blood pressure? There are things like traffic jams, slow drivers, long lines, crying babies, misplaced keys, cold food, noisy neighbors, tight clothes, unsuccessful diets. We gripe about stupid bosses, lazy co-workers, and slow employees. We grumble about ineffective politicians, irresponsible athletes, and irritating relatives. We feel that we have a God-given right to complain about anything and some people complain about everything!
There are basically four types of complainers. I’ll let you decide which one you are. Please, no elbowing the person next to you as I delineate these types of complainers!
The Whiner! These people wake up negative. You may be married to someone like this. A woman went to work one day in a foul mood. Her co-worker asked her, “Did you wake up grouchy this morning?”
“No, I let him sleep in.”
The catch phrase of whiners is “It’s not fair. I don’t deserve this. Everyone else gets all the breaks.”
Those with school aged kids hear this all the time and our response is, “Who said life is fair?!” Life is not fair. God never said it would be.
The Martyr! What is there favorite phrase? “No one appreciates me.” Read Numbers 11:11-15 if you would like to see a real pity plea as Moses laments to God about having to lead the unruly Children of Israel.
These folks are pros at pity parties. The martyr complains in a passive-aggressive fashion. Rather than just letting you know they are annoyed or aggravated, they couch their complaints in pious tones of self-sacrifice. They give and give, but no one appreciates them! No one cares but them!
The Cynic! Their favorite phrase is “nothing ever changes.” Ecclesiastes 1:2-4 would be their favorite scripture: “Everything is meaningless!” Solomon was probably thinking of picking up after his children when he penned those words!
The cynic has an air of superiority; an intellectual edge to his complaining makes it hard to refute. A cynic is a cross between Eeyore the cynical donkey of Winnie the Pooh fame and Jerry Seinfeld the comedian who can find the most ridiculous and mundane things to complain and rant about.
The Perfectionist! Their favorite phrase is: “Is that the best you can do?” Nothing is ever right for this person. It is never good enough, because they have a standard you can never attain. Their complaints wear you down. Maybe you had or have a parent like this. After a while it wears you down doesn’t it? You come to a place that you no longer attempt to get their approval because you know that it is an impossibility. If you have a spouse who is a perfectionist, bless you!
If you are married to a perfectionist, were raised by one, or work for one, you know that you will never satisfy them. Their complaint and disapproval will never end! Many of us spent years trying to get affirmation and approval from a parent or a spouse before we painfully realized that they had none to give!
Before I go further, I want you to stop looking at someone else to apply this message to. This is meant for you, not someone else. It is meant for me. That is why I am preaching it! You may think that you are not a complainer. All your gripes are justifiable; you have a gift of discernment so your opinions need to be made known. Don’t start thinking about who this sermon would be good for. Don’t ask Stacey for 50 copies to send to selected people to straighten them out. Simply hear it in the love with which it is presented. We all have this problem to some degree. All of us!
Complaining is opposed to our obedience.
We need to remember the context of our text. Last week we were reminded of the necessity to work out what God has worked in – that God commands us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. Paul is talking about obedience to God. That is how you “work out” salvation!
Our passage begins with the all-inclusive, very difficult command: “do everything.” God commands that we cover all the bases!
Complaining implies an impatient criticism, an open, audible grumbling. Arguing in Greek is dialogismon, from which we get “dialogue.” For us a dialogue is a neutral discussion, but in Greek it referred to haggling, confrontational, litigation in a court. The focus here is the attitude of the heart. This is a person who loves an argument.
The obedience that Paul calls for in verse 14 is an obedience that is seen in action as well as in attitude.
It is like the little boy, about three years old, who was standing in the pew during worship. He was told to sit down by his dad. He refused. He was then promised a trip outside for an attitude adjustment with dad’s belt. He reluctantly sat and added under his breath, “I may be sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside!”
Did he obey? Externally he conformed, but the obedience was negated by the attitude. As aggravated parents, we often settle for external behavior and ignore the heart, but God is very much concerned with our heart. Scripture has a word for the person who is sitting down on the outside but standing up on the inside: hypocrite.
Complaining is opposed to our calling. Just as the Christian is to remove all criticism of others, so our lives must not give anyone an excuse to criticize us.
Verse 15 gives a result of an obedient life, free from complaining: they may become blameless and pure, that is, no accusation can be entertained against them; they are sincere, without mixed motives, the obedience is done not out of a sense of duty or obligation, but out of genuine desire.
Not only that, those who obey without complaint are called: “Children of God.” Paul is reminding us to behave in light of our status. As those adopted by God’s grace, there is an expected standard of behavior. The problem we face is that the culture in which we live is crooked and perverse. We tend to get as crooked as the culture!
When you complain, you complain against God!
In the wilderness, when the people complained against Moses and Aaron. Moses said, “God has heard your complaining against Him.” Ultimately, any complaining in life is against the sovereign authority of God Himself. When you incessantly complain about leaders in government, your boss at work, your teacher, your parents, your child, your pastor, you are complaining against God. If God is in control, then our gripe is with Him!
When you complain, you are sinning against God. Complaining is not just a bad habit. The Bible doesn’t suggest we stop complaining, it commands it. Complaining is equated with the sin of rebellion. Psalm 78:17-18 calls the grumbling and complaining by the Hebrews in the wilderness, sin and rebellion!
When we complain, we rebel against a loving Father. When we gripe about our job, when we grouse about our spouse, we are shaking our fist at God’s provision and compassion. We are where God has put us and even if we are in rebellion and not where God desires for us to be, He can still use us where we are! He has our good in mind. Complaining is a denial of our calling, of our status as His sons and daughters. When we complain, we are claiming that we know better than God how things ought to be. Instead of letting Him work through us in the present situation, we tell God and the world, how bad things are!
When you complain, you won’t enter the Promised Land. From the Red Sea to Canaan was about a two week journey, yet the Israelites wandered for forty years. Why? They complained – so God told them to take another lap around the desert!
Coach Jones, my high school football coach, knew this principle. “If you don’t hustle, you have to run a lap. If you gripe and grumble, take a lap. If you miss a block, take a lap. If you cause the team to lose yardage, everyone takes a lap. If any of you complain about the lap; take two laps!”
The Israelites would continue to grumble and complain. God said, “Take another lap – see if you can get this right!” Again, and again they complained until God said, “Just die here in the desert – a whole new generation will inherit the Promised Land!” This is how seriously God takes complaining!
Have I made the point well enough? God hates complaining! What is our calling since complaining is not a spiritual gift?
We live in a day of unbelief; people are in open rebellion against God. How do we know this? There is constant grumbling and complaining. We are one of the most affluent nations on the earth but we have a reputation as complainers. It is our pastime. We look for what is wrong and tell everyone else about it.
Darkness has gripped our world because people do not know the wonderful news that there is a Father who cares, who directs and controls all things so that we might glorify Him. To this dark world we are called, not to join on the harangue about failed government leaders, not to bemoan the status of our public education, not to wag our finger at Hollywood’s latest attack on the family, but to shine out and to point the way!
Our light is not meant to be hidden under a basket of a griping and complaining spirit; it is to be like a beacon on the hillside that gives light and direction. That is what Jesus said! As a minister, I can’t hold out the word of life, saying that God is in control, and loving, and then constantly complain about my circumstances. It seems that often the preaching from Baptist pulpits is to castigate the people for all their failings; to basically confirm that we are a sinking ship and then we have an invitation and ask people to join our sinking ship!
What do you complain about? A severe financial problem, a marriage that is unfulfilling, poor health, rebellious children, demanding adult parents, work frustration, maybe a church that doesn’t meet your needs. Whatever it is, they are opportunities to worship the Lord. It is easy to obey when you tell God what you are going to do. When all is going well, we have few complaints. But when life is tough, when God commands that which is hard, when you want to throw in the towel – that is when you have a unique opportunity to respond to God, to worship Him.
What type of complainer are you; Martyr, Whiner, Perfectionist or Cynic? Or maybe you are a bit like me. I seem to be able to be all four at the same time. What would happen in your life if all the complaining stopped? What difference would it make in your home or at your job? How would you look at your calling and worship at the church if you stopped complaining and began shining?
You can do it! There is a cross on which Jesus died and through His death and resurrection He gives us the spirit to defeat complaining. It is your choice today,
“Whine or Shine!”
Comments