Dr. Ron Sumners
May 8, 2005
There is something about the comic strip, “Peanuts” that can evoke a chuckle while simultaneously piercing our conscience. That’s what happened to me when I discovered a profound message in one of Charles Schultz’s comic strips.
Charlie Brown was sitting in a deck chair near the front of a large boat when Lucy walked up. “Some people go through life with their deck chairs facing forward, gazing out where they are going,” Lucy said philosophically, “Others go through life with their deck chairs facing backwards, looking at where they have been.”
She then paused and pondered her profound words. Looking directly into Charlie Brown’s sunglasses she asked him, “Charlie Brown, which way is your deck chair facing?”
Charlie Brown responded simply, “I really don’t know – I’ve never been able to get my deck chair unfolded!”
When it comes to figuring out your family values it can seem just about as confusing. Still, the direction the deck chair faces is very important – toward God or away from God. Your family values are being formed. I want to help you build values that reflect Godly influence. It isn’t going to be easy, but it is not impossible if you understand what you face and what you must do.
We face a real challenge. About a generation ago the demographic group known as the “Baby Boomers” started an experiment in life. This experiment was based on new and different values. They broke from traditional values to new values that were based on new ideas and new freedoms which have been promoted, pushed, and hyped with unrelenting enthusiasm and energy. Politicians, educators, lawyers, doctors, business executives, Hollywood filmmakers, book publishers, newspaper and magazine editors, perhaps even some key religious leaders, have all been engaged in selling us these new values.
David Boehl, in an article called “Hanging by a Thread” enumerates these values in seven statements:
1. Personal happiness is the goal of life.
2. Marriage for life is old-fashioned. The idea of marrying someone for life is out of date. Divorce should be encouraged if the couple is not compatible. We should not worry about the effects on children; they have a remarkable ability to adapt to hardships.
3. Traditional roles are confining and outdated. Women should be encouraged to pursue careers and personal fulfillment, and it is unfair to view men as the leaders of their homes.
4. Teenagers should be free to make their own choices. Parents should be encouraged to begin “letting go” of their children as they begin adolescence. Then these teenagers can begin to make their own, independent choices.
5. There is no such thing as absolute morality. We encourage each individual to experience sexual freedom by setting aside biblical morals regarding premarital sex, extramarital sex, and homosexuality.
6. Question all authority at every opportunity.
7. The influence of Christianity should be eliminated from public life.
There is nothing all that new with these values and ideas. Hosea preached about the same kind of problems in his day – and that was over 2500 years ago. Over those 2500 years cultures have risen and fallen. Societies have been built and then decayed. Nations have been established and then ruined. The values of the people have made all the difference. The further away from Godly values the more likely the society is to be wrecked like a ship on a rocky coast – it flounders and sinks.
Yet these are the values that are being heavily promoted in our culture and society today. We are being bombarded with this message and if anyone stands up to say something other than what fits with this message they are hammered personally, attacked viciously, and figuratively stoned to death in the public square.
You may recall the debate Dan Quayle ignited in 1992 by talking about how the breakdown of the family is hurting our nation. His serious, seven-page speech was trivialized by focusing on one sentence in which Quayle criticized the television character Murphy Brown. The real substance of Quayle’s speech went mostly unreported.
For example: “When we were young, it was fashionable to declare war against traditional values. Indulgences and self-gratification seemed to have no consequences. Many of our generation glamorized casual sex and drug use, evaded responsibility, and trashed authority.”
For making this statement and taking this position he was marginalized and treated as a dunce, stupid, foolish, and a dunderhead.
Let me share with you three steps to take that will help you unfold the deck chair and face it toward God!
STEP ONE: Remember My words. (Deut. 11:18-21)
When Moses said this, he spoke to a nation of people who had escaped from Egyptian slavery. They had lived there for 400 years. That is a long time to build up cultural identity and to buy into social values that were different than God’s values.
Many writers suppose that this is a reference to a superstitious custom borrowed from the Egyptians, who wore jewels and ornamental trinkets on the forehead and arm, inscribed with certain words and sentences, as amulets to protect them from danger.
Moses is saying to the Israelites that they are to trust God and His words not the superstitions and foolishness of the past ways.
The Jewish people took the words literally and put the words in little, leather boxes and wore it on their foreheads and forearms. The form was as follows: Four pieces of parchment, inscribed, the first with Exodus 13:2-10; the second with Exodus 13: 11-16; the third with Deut. 6:1-8; and the fourth with Deut. 11:18-21, were enclosed in a square box of tough skin, on the side was placed the Hebrew letter (shin), and bound around the forehead with a thong or ribbon. When designed for the arm, the four texts were written on one slip of parchment. They missed the real point, but they did understand the importance of God’s teaching.
Our primary source for God-directed values is His word! He has given us two great foundational statements. The first is the Ten Commandments:
No other gods before me
Create no image of another god
No abuse of God’s name
Work six days and rest one
Honor your father and mother
No murder
No adultery
No stealing
No lying about your neighbor
No coveting of anything your neighbor possesses.
When you read Exodus or Deuteronomy you don’t get a nice little list that is easily chiseled in a stone tablet. What exactly was chiseled on stone and carried by Moses from the mountain is uncertain. It obviously outlined a set of basic standards that formed the core values of the entire nation of Israel.
In the entire law you will find many promises from God of how living according to these standards will bring you both good and long life on the earth.
The second foundational statement is found in Matthew 22:37 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and most important commandment. And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbor as you love yourself.’ All the law and the writings of the prophets depend on these two commands.”
Jesus summed up all of the core values and teachings into two powerful statements. Here is all the law. It is simple. It is powerful. It is direct. It is terribly important to live ourselves and to teach these values to our children!
STEP TWO: Teach them well to your children. (Deut. 11:18-22)
It is clear that God expects us as parents to teach our children about His values and His ideas in every area of life. Values are not taught in the classroom. Values are caught the same way a virus is caught, through exposure. Values come like a southern accent if you are from Alabama; through exposure. You don’t teach values, you live values. To marinate a roast, you immerse it in the marinate and it soaks up the flavor through contact. Your children will catch Godly values if exposed by you. Family Christian values are passed through the family like an illness because all are exposed!
Here is a list of values that I received from a questionnaire some years ago: God, limited television, responsibility, chores, friendship, kindness, respectful speaking, education, church, encouragement, servant hood, obedience, discipline, sharing, giving, commitment, keeping your word, home life, prayer, perseverance, doing what you are supposed to do, love, dignity, spending time with each other, resolving conflicts, forgiveness, physical affection, laughter, having fun together, memorizing scripture, wholesome talking, reading and wise counsel.
Let me share some Family values that your children will catch by exposure.
Openly admire God. You don’t have to do weird or dopey things to do this. Openly and honestly turn to God all the time, but especially when you think no one is looking!
It is not the big things, but the little things that show your admiration for God. That is why you do not curse God. Apathy for worship and the House of God is the seed of sin.
You should focus your life around the church and God’s people; not civic, work or recreational activities. We bring our tithes. We give our time. The church is the center of our lives and we should love it here.
If we come here and go home griping and complaining about what happened at church, chances are pretty good that our children will grow up pagan!
Our children have advanced degrees in picking up the inconsistencies in our lives. If you come to church and pray and then go home and curse like a longshoreman; or if you come to church and act pious and go home and bless out your family and neighbor, your children will know what your true values are!
We live in a dangerous world – be wise and watchful. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that everything out there aimed at your children is benign and safe. Know the word of God and compare it with what we are seeing around us.
If we do not protect our children today, we are exposing them to moral cyanide. There is a cultural war going on parents. So, monitor what your children watch on TV. Know what they are being taught in school. Listen to the lyrics of their music. And if they are unwholesome, ban it from your house. It is your house isn’t it?
Remember what we are about – people not stuff, giving not consuming, serving not demanding. Do not merely give your child an allowance; give them chores to earn it! Expect them to participate in the family, not merely be served by it. Make them responsible by giving them responsibilities, if the purpose of the family is to meet their whims and desires, change the priority to honoring God!
When we “mess up” we “fess up.” Love means that we constantly have to say that we are sorry.
Give your best to the family; not to your job, nor hobby, nor social club, nor sports activity; give your best to the thing that matters the most – your family!
STEP THREE: Write them on your doors and gates.
The ancient Egyptians had the lintels and doorposts and gates of their homes inscribed with sentences indicative of a favorable omen from the gods, and this is still the case in Moslem countries. In Egypt today, you will find doors painted red, white or green bearing sentences from the Koran. Moses designed to turn this ancient custom from superstitious inscriptions to the word of God for a perpetual remembrance.
I am not advocating that you go home and write scripture on your front door. Although if you go to my house you will find a brass plaque that states, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Still, we are to mark our lives with Godly values. When you fill your minutes with Christian values they become hours. The hours become days. The days become weeks. The weeks become months. The months become years. The years become a lifetime – good, rich, and without regret.
Your role as a parent is the highest, noblest calling you will have in your life. It is God’s child that you are raising.
I like the story of a little boy who was asked if he believed in God. He replied, “Yes I do.” When asked why, he said, “I guess it just runs in the family!”
What are the values you are infecting your children with? Some of you have your deck chair pointing the wrong way.
Kommentare